A Reminder For All Feminists

Whatever you think of Hillary Rodham Clinton's politics or person, you have to admit that she has faced the scrutiny and scorn of countless individuals and groups during her time in the public sphere. I don't find her to be a credible or progressive candidate, I find she has a very unique relationship with the truth [to put it mildly], and I abhor some of the behind the scenes arms-length efforts to discredit her every political rival with ruthless precision as opposed to focusing on the issues. No matter my personal position on Hillary, it's undeniable that she has faced unrelenting attacks as either being too aggressive and un-first ladylike, or subjugating her pride as a modern woman in favor of upholding her marriage vows.

The first argument suggests that any woman who wants to hold public office deserves the kind of treatment that so many have gotten away with. The second argument is more puzzling as it is bandied about by so-called Conservative Christians, that Hillary is somehow less of a woman for staying in a marriage with a man who grossly embarrassed her in front of the world when his philandering nature was uncovered. As far as I am concerned, Hillary's personal relationship with her husband is her business and no one has the right to tell her how to conduct herself in the very private and complicated bonds of a marriage. In either case, this one point can be clearly seen in this small 3 minute clip that shows just a tiny sample of the asinine and archaic questions Hillary has faced over the last 30+ years.

I don't care what your politics are, there is no way I could have stayed calm while being compared to fictional characters like 'Lady MacBeth' or being labeled a 'nagging wife'.  So today I want to remind women everywhere, and particularly those who are thinking of a future in the political arena, that feminism means that all women move ahead, the ones we love and the ones that we definitely do not love. The point is that men do not have an exclusive monopoly on 'toughness' and women do not have an exclusive claim to 'gentility'. The most impressive argument I have ever heard for women standing up for all women and the injustices we face daily is in a poem by Melissa Newman-Evans, a piece called "9 Things I Would Like To Tell Every Teenage Girl". I am not going to say anything more, it speaks for itself and I hope that you will overlook a few cuss words and embrace the heart and intention behind this passionate plea.

Pro-Birth, Pro-Life, or Pro-Choice: My Truth About Abortion

Recently, as I regularly do, I left a comment on a facebook post by Senator Bernie Sanders, a man I admire greatly. In this particular post, Sanders made a very personal statement about his religion and family history. He was likely motivated by the DNC Wikileaks documents that questioned his religion and beliefs, something that should never matter in a country that claims a separation of Church and State. I was disgusted by this cruel 'tactic' to take down a decent man who wants to serve his country in the most selfless way. This post was extremely moving for me. I also identify as culturally Jewish, I was raised that way, and even though I am not religious in my adult life, I still am Jewish in every other way. That's why I felt the need to leave a comment;

My response had me in tears, out of respect for Bernie Sanders and for my own lost heritage, for the man he is and the way he inspires me. I wrote;


Every child and grandchild of the survivors of the Holocaust, and every other act of genocide known to history [and modern times] is proud to stand with you Bernie Sanders and fight for a world where everyone valued for who they are and their right to simply live in peace and raise their children in safety and love. My grandfather was the only survivor of his immediate family too, but for a single cousin who found her home in Michigan. He came to Canada and never heard from his large family of sisters, brothers, their spouses and children, his parents, his whole community again. They lie in a mass grave for simply being Jews, and it still breaks my heart and makes me cry to think of all that lost potential, all the cruelty, humiliation, and the hatred that pitted neighbor against neighbor in the maelstrom of racism, fear and divisive tactics of the Nazi regime. I may not be a practicing Jew in the religious sense, but it is my heritage and my moral compass was set early on when my Zaida, the best man I have ever known, simply loved us and took joy from his grandchildren, never even speaking of the pain and loss, the intolerable cruelty he suffered. He would have loved you Bernie, and I love you, and thank you, for being the very best example of humanity and a true Mensch. You are a blessing to us all.

I didn't actually expect anyone to read it, I am rather verbose. But a few people did comment under mine. The first touched me, the second just pissed me off;

H.A.R. : We all stand with you and within Bernie. We promise we will never let it happen again, never again.

M.A. : If he's such a great guy why is he a supporter of the biggest genocide of our time, that being abortion?

Normally, I do not feed the trolls, but this one was so in my Nursing wheelhouse, I could not stop my fingers, and sarcasm, from flying across my keyboard.

"M.A. He doesn't support 'abortion', pro-abortion is not a thing. No sane person sits around saying, 'damn, there are just not enough abortions happening'. Bernie supports a woman's right to make her own educated decisions about what is right for her person. A decision based on personal religious, ethical, and moral beliefs and what is best for her physical and mental health in the moment. It is called being Pro-Choice. That choice is overwhelming to continue a pregnancy to term. In the rare case where a woman decides that termination of pregnancy is best for her, she will also be given legal access to that medical intervention.

The decision is that of the person in possession of the gravid uterus and any other person(s) she wishes to include, most often a spouse, partner, family member. Very few women make this decision hastily, they are asked to sign explicit consent forms before having any procedure, which include an explanation about any medical risks, future health concerns, and even a very explicit description of the procedure. She can still change her mind at any time until the actual procedure is initiated. Please note, in almost every State, women must be of legal age to obtain an abortion [without the consent of a parent], they must be within the first trimester of the pregnancy.

In Canada, and I suspect it is similar in the US, if a woman is past her first trimester she often cannot end a viable pregnancy without making an application to a medical ethics board that will evaluate her case. No doctors are mandated to perform the various procedures if their religious or ethical beliefs are in conflict with a woman's request or the ethics board."

But this whole issue has been spinning in my mind since I first responded to M.A. [name withheld to protect the ignorant]. What really pisses me off is this extreme anti-abortion position. Firstly, the term Genocide is not to be used lightly, and it certainly has nothing to do with an elective medical procedure. Genocide refers specifically to the deliberate murder of persons from a particular religion or ethnic group. Secondly, men are certainly entitled to their opinions about a woman's right to choose, but until you have a uterus and are in the position of having no options but to carry a pregnancy to term, even if it will be stillborn or unable to live outside the womb, you don't get to tell me what to do with my body. Most rational men understand this is a very personal issue for a woman and her family.

Those who profess to be militantly pro-life, or anti-abortion, baffle me in their absolute fervor and even violent protests. I respect everyone's right to their own opinions, moral or religious beliefs, but as a nurse who works in High Risk Obstetrics, I have been in the position where I have cared for a family facing the most difficult decision they may ever have to make, the choice to terminate a pregnancy because of a severe genetic or developmental condition. It is heart wrenching to watch a family both welcome and say goodbye to a life they very much love and want. It is not my place to judge these women, these families of varied cultures, religions, and beliefs; no one has that right. I have held tiny fragile stillborns, made handprints and footprints that will be treasured forever, and cried with families while the hospital chaplain said a blessing for them and the tiny dream that wasn't meant to be. It is emotional work and it is meaningful work, and it is important.

But there is more to the pro-life position that bothers me, and that is the sheer hypocrisy that lies in the name of this so-called 'movement'. If you are truly pro-life, that means all life, not just the un-born, but the living children in your own community. The children living at or below the poverty line, those attending sub-par schools, those who need school lunches because there is no food at home. If you are so very pro-life you should be anti-gun proliferation, anti-war, and fight for the rights of children across the country. You should get actively involved by becoming a foster parent, adopting a child in need of a loving home, or just volunteering your time working with kids in need.

What do we see instead? We see that Conservatives and the GOP, the 'family values' party, those who claim to be 'good' Christians, are the ones who want to make safe medical termination of pregnancy almost non-existent in America. The current Republican Party Nominee for President has said that there should be 'punishment' for those who seek legal abortions. These same political actors are the ones who refuse to stop the sale of guns to those on the Terrorist Watch List. In the US, they are gutting school lunch programs, refusing to consider Parental Leave allowances, actively trying to repeal accessible healthcare, and make radical cuts to the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP), formerly known as the Food Stamp Program. In my opinion, this is absolutely not a pro-life position. In truth, it is a pro-birth position.

Pro-birth is a much more accurate name for this system of beliefs. They want all women to carry all pregnancies to term, and once that child is born, they expect it to be raised in a social justice vacuum. These 'good' GOP Christians pass judgement and point fingers, shaming the very families that they have let down, calling them 'Takers', 'Welfare Queens', or worse. Currently there are close to 400,000 children living without permanent families in the foster care system. Over 100,000 of these children are eligible for adoption, but nearly 32% of these children will wait over three years in foster care before being adopted [1].

This by no means applies to all persons who have a religious or moral issue with abortion, it is a very hot button issue, very personal, very private. It does however apply to those who are trying to 'suck' and 'blow' at the same time. In one breath suggesting they are trying to protect the sanctity of life, and with the next cutting the social programs that new mothers and families desperately need to care for that new life. It is not only un-American, it is devoid of any humanity, any sense of propriety, and is absolutely contradictory to the pro-life narrative.