I am amazed by you and can't believe how time flies. It hits me even more now that you are 11 going on 12. Happy New Year 2017 little person who loves friends and family and life so fiercely; You will do anything to protect them, understand them, help them, listen to them, stand up for them, and forgive them, and that makes you a true Mensch.
You amaze me with your wit and sense of humor, something you clearly inherited from my side of the family. Your endless curiosity, your abilities, and your willingness to learn make you so special. Never stop being this great kid, but always reach for your independence and your own dreams. You are a true geek with a love for Star Wars, Super Heroes, Lego, XBox, Nintendo, Harry Potter, Pokemon everything, and all the scientific facts you can soak up. The fact that you are reading "The Hobbit" for pleasure at the moment tickles me no end.
You were the 1st place final tournament winning MVP of your ball hockey league last year, that impresses me so much; Your skill and teamwork combine perfectly. You love the Maple Leafs, Team Canada, Toronto Blue Jays, The Marlies, Toronto Raptors, and TFC Soccer, and know more than I ever will about sports. It makes you a force to be reckoned with. But, I really know that to you, it is all about the 'Team Work' not the prize. Maybe sometimes, it's about the Jersey or the glory. You do live out all your passions through your wardrobe, as you should.
This past week reminded me of all these things, and that you have so much potential that it gives me hope for the future. You love to cook, you love to create art and structures, you love science, you love history, you love fantasy; You love to ask a million excellent questions, you love to cuddle and be silly, you love to debate and to learn. You love to play practical jokes, and you love to read. You love trying new things and flavors, you aren't afraid to get your hands dirty. You love animals and science, and you understand inequality and humanity. You care about the planet and you care about how we treat it. You care about your people and you care about the people you have never met too. How special it is to be so aware at such an early stage, how much information you have access to, how many things are just a few keystrokes away.
Not everything you discover will be good, some things are very scary and disturbing, some people do things that we will never understand, some people just do so much evil. Please remember that when you find one of those things you can come to me and talk about anything, I would rather know that you are upset about something or have questions about something. I know how much you love to talk things through, please know that my job is to be here for you for all the things, both the great ones and the not-so-great ones. And if you can't talk to me, if something makes you feel that you need to talk to someone else, I will be proud of you for finding that other person to speak to.Talking through your feelings, your ideas, your questions, your fears, your challenges or problems, is a sign that in a way, I have given you a very valuable tool for life.
You work so hard to make everyone happy, you have deep feelings and complicated emotions, but you always find a way to put others' before your own needs. You give me the certainty that your generation will be the one that finally heals this planet, it's environment, it's borders, it's people, it's animals and plants, it's food, it's medicine, it's technology, it's safety and prosperity; I am filled with renewed hope for humanity because of you.
Your laugh is the best sound I have ever heard. The way your brain works, the speed of connections and response, is mind boggling. Your kindness and friendship are interconnected. You actually listen, and speak after thinking, a skill all too lacking. You balance your serious time with lots of relaxation and amusement, never ever lose that ability.
You are never driven by rewards, and want to have a future where you are have a career you love, even if the result is that you will have a very modest income and limited means. You accept everyone based on who they are, not their religion or race or appearance, not their finances or conditions, their life choices or means of self-expression. You need to know how rare that is. It is a gift to the whole world.
Whether you become a Medical Researcher, a Geneticist, a Writer, a Champion of Human Rights, an Artist, an Engineer, a Lawyer, a Designer, an Analyst, a Marine Biologist, a Comedian, a Chef, a Craftsperson, a Communicator, a Politician, an Organizer, a Teacher, a Social Worker, an Architect, a Game Developer, a Drug Developer, a Parent, a Partner, a Pet Owner, or Blood Donor; Perhaps some marvelous combination of any of these and the many more we will very likely discuss in the future, I know you will find your place. Then there are the other things we have discussed at three in the morning while looking at silly memes and laughing until our sides hurt that I have likely forgotten. What I do know is that you will do everything to the best of your ability and with as much passion as you can, and that is exceptional.
Life is never perfect, as you very much understand and express. People make mistakes - sometimes ones that can hurt themselves the most, people hold grudges, people hurt other people both emotionally and physically, people have mental health challenges to face, people blame themselves for things that are not in any way their fault. Always accept blame if you have made a mistake, but only accept it to learn from it and become an even better person. Taking on blame that belongs to other people who have acted badly or made mistakes will not help you grow into a more actualized person, it will only prevent you from moving on.
I love how strong you are, I love how you move around the world. Your body is perfect, and it always will be. From the way you hold your head up high that makes my heart fill full of pride, to the way your arms can squeeze me in a hug, to your special toes that wiggle with glee; You are exactly who you are supposed to be. Whether you colour your hair green or shave it all off, whether you pierce your ears or cover yourself in ink, I will still see my child in your eyes, that mischievous twinkle will never change. Only you get to decide about your body, and I know you will do your research to make sure you make the best decisions you can at the time. The best gift I could ever think to give you is the autonomy to make your own choices in life.
Crying is normal, it does not make you weak or silly. Crying is the way our body tells us that our heart is hurting. Laughing is essential, when you laugh you release some of those bad emotions and breath in newer better ones. Joy and Celebration is a the way our bodies react when our good feelings surge and our happiness can hardly be contained. Never let anyone make you feel bad for having pride, for jumping for joy, for hootin' and hollerin'. The key here is to allow yourself to cry when your heart tells you to, not your mind. Laughing should be spontaneous and bubble out of your tummy, never force a laugh to pretend you feel the same way as another person. Celebrate your wins in ways that have personal meaning to you, but don't ever gloat or be mean. I know you know all these things baby, but I love that you live these values in such a loving way.
People make poor choices when they are hurting emotionally and physically; Addictions like food, anger, self destruction, illicit drugs, alcohol, attention, and avoidance are all very tempting ways to self-medicate, it's ok to admit you have made mistakes too. There is no such thing as weak, just sick, and as long as you have a mind that is still willing to try, there is always hope for you and everyone in the world. Asking for help is sometimes the hardest thing to do, but it also takes the most bravery. Bravery is not an absence of fear, it is the ability to use the power of your will to stomp down the fear and do what must be done anyways. There is no such thing as perfect, as I always remind you, there is only better. Practice makes better, sometimes but almost never "Perfect".
I hope that when you are older, if I am very lucky, you might think for just a fraction of a second "Thanks" and think of me when you are reminded of some advice I once tried to pass on to you, hoping it might help someday. That is the highest compliment anyone could ever give me, that would be my living legacy. How full my heart will always feel.
So my child, what I am trying to say is that I love you, just the way you are now. I will love you tomorrow, and I will love you until the end of time. There is absolutely nothing you could ever do that will change the way you have filled my heart with love. I promise to always be here for you when you need me. I promise to hold you when you cry, to celebrate every success you find, and to laugh and be silly with you for all the days that I have. I will always honor your right to make choices for yourself and for your future, I will do everything I can to give you the tools to discover your own passions for yourself. I will love the people you love, I will give up anything to protect your from those who would even think of hurting you. I didn't teach you to how to love, you were born with that miracle, but I can definitely say that you taught me what love really means; How a heart can feel like it is growing in size each day we spend together, how just the thought of you makes my heart feel full and warm all at once, how I anticipate the things you will say, and discover, and dream, and do in the world as if they are the very air I breathe. Yes my child, you are Love.
Whether you become a Medical Researcher, a Geneticist, a Writer, a Champion of Human Rights, an Artist, an Engineer, a Lawyer, a Designer, an Analyst, a Marine Biologist, a Comedian, a Chef, a Craftsperson, a Communicator, a Politician, an Organizer, a Teacher, a Social Worker, an Architect, a Game Developer, a Drug Developer, a Parent, a Partner, a Pet Owner, or Blood Donor; Perhaps some marvelous combination of any of these and the many more we will very likely discuss in the future, I know you will find your place. Then there are the other things we have discussed at three in the morning while looking at silly memes and laughing until our sides hurt that I have likely forgotten. What I do know is that you will do everything to the best of your ability and with as much passion as you can, and that is exceptional.
Life is never perfect, as you very much understand and express. People make mistakes - sometimes ones that can hurt themselves the most, people hold grudges, people hurt other people both emotionally and physically, people have mental health challenges to face, people blame themselves for things that are not in any way their fault. Always accept blame if you have made a mistake, but only accept it to learn from it and become an even better person. Taking on blame that belongs to other people who have acted badly or made mistakes will not help you grow into a more actualized person, it will only prevent you from moving on.
I love how strong you are, I love how you move around the world. Your body is perfect, and it always will be. From the way you hold your head up high that makes my heart fill full of pride, to the way your arms can squeeze me in a hug, to your special toes that wiggle with glee; You are exactly who you are supposed to be. Whether you colour your hair green or shave it all off, whether you pierce your ears or cover yourself in ink, I will still see my child in your eyes, that mischievous twinkle will never change. Only you get to decide about your body, and I know you will do your research to make sure you make the best decisions you can at the time. The best gift I could ever think to give you is the autonomy to make your own choices in life.
Crying is normal, it does not make you weak or silly. Crying is the way our body tells us that our heart is hurting. Laughing is essential, when you laugh you release some of those bad emotions and breath in newer better ones. Joy and Celebration is a the way our bodies react when our good feelings surge and our happiness can hardly be contained. Never let anyone make you feel bad for having pride, for jumping for joy, for hootin' and hollerin'. The key here is to allow yourself to cry when your heart tells you to, not your mind. Laughing should be spontaneous and bubble out of your tummy, never force a laugh to pretend you feel the same way as another person. Celebrate your wins in ways that have personal meaning to you, but don't ever gloat or be mean. I know you know all these things baby, but I love that you live these values in such a loving way.
People make poor choices when they are hurting emotionally and physically; Addictions like food, anger, self destruction, illicit drugs, alcohol, attention, and avoidance are all very tempting ways to self-medicate, it's ok to admit you have made mistakes too. There is no such thing as weak, just sick, and as long as you have a mind that is still willing to try, there is always hope for you and everyone in the world. Asking for help is sometimes the hardest thing to do, but it also takes the most bravery. Bravery is not an absence of fear, it is the ability to use the power of your will to stomp down the fear and do what must be done anyways. There is no such thing as perfect, as I always remind you, there is only better. Practice makes better, sometimes but almost never "Perfect".
I hope that when you are older, if I am very lucky, you might think for just a fraction of a second "Thanks" and think of me when you are reminded of some advice I once tried to pass on to you, hoping it might help someday. That is the highest compliment anyone could ever give me, that would be my living legacy. How full my heart will always feel.
So my child, what I am trying to say is that I love you, just the way you are now. I will love you tomorrow, and I will love you until the end of time. There is absolutely nothing you could ever do that will change the way you have filled my heart with love. I promise to always be here for you when you need me. I promise to hold you when you cry, to celebrate every success you find, and to laugh and be silly with you for all the days that I have. I will always honor your right to make choices for yourself and for your future, I will do everything I can to give you the tools to discover your own passions for yourself. I will love the people you love, I will give up anything to protect your from those who would even think of hurting you. I didn't teach you to how to love, you were born with that miracle, but I can definitely say that you taught me what love really means; How a heart can feel like it is growing in size each day we spend together, how just the thought of you makes my heart feel full and warm all at once, how I anticipate the things you will say, and discover, and dream, and do in the world as if they are the very air I breathe. Yes my child, you are Love.
